


A Safe Place

by Aceofstars16



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Nightamares, Other, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 06:49:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aceofstars16/pseuds/Aceofstars16
Summary: After all that El has been through, nightmares are a constant in her life. In the past, she always kept them hidden, but now maybe that doesn't have to be the case. Maybe she doesn't have to face them alone anymore...





	A Safe Place

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](http://aceofstars16.tumblr.com/post/168552124568/a-safe-place)  
>  The second half of this fic is a bit of a sequel to ["After the Close"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12771240)

Nightmares. For El they were always more than just dreams. They were memories, of things she had seen. Things she had done. And they would never, ever go away. She learned a long time ago not to tell anyone. Papa hated her fear. One time she had told him. Never again.

Nightmares. They didn’t always haunt her. There were nights when her mind seemed incapable of creating them. She never had any at Mike’s house. It was safe. But now that security was gone and they came again. They haunted her in the woods. Breathe. That was all she could do. Walking helped, but the cold night air was harsh, it sapped her strength and left her feeling more miserable than before. Sometimes that was a blessing. The nights when exhaustion kept the memories at bay. But more often than not, they left her lost and broken.

Nightmares. Another one. Faces from her past. Those that haunted her, and those she had haunted. People she had killed. Scream. Pain. Terror.

Eyes flying open, El jerked upright. In and out. She had to calm her breathing. If they knew of her nightmares she would never escape the fear. But as her breathing slowed, the room around her came into view. It wasn’t her old room in the lab, nor was it the latest bush she had found to sleep under. Wooden walls surrounded her, there was warmth in the room, despite the dim light.

Letting out a slow breath, El tried to make herself relax. She was safe now. Or safer than she had been. But despite telling herself this over and over again, her heart still beat quickly in her chest. Memories continued to flood her mind. She needed to move. That didn’t always help, but she had to do something.

Getting out of bed, she started walking. Back and forth, trying to push away the images. It should be simple for her but moving images seemed to be a more difficult task than moving something tangible. The harder she tried to get them to leave, the clearer they became.

“Kid? Kid? El!”

El’s head snapped up, completely unaware that her door had been opened. But there was Hopper, looking at her, his eyebrows scrunched in worry.

“What’s up with all the pacing?”

“Nothing.”

“So you’re just pacing for the fun of it?”

Don’t tell anyone. The first rule El had learned hummed in the back of her mind. But the smallest sliver of doubt poked at her. Hopper wasn’t like the men at the lab. He wasn’t Mike but…he wasn’t Papa either…

“Look kid, it’s late. So either tell me what’s wrong or get back in bed.”

“Nightmares.” El forced it out before she could second guess herself. If anything, the thought of having to face the horrid dreams again made up her mind for her.

Hopper nodded his head slowly. “Alright…do you want to talk about them or…?”

El shook her head, talking wouldn’t help. True, she had never tried it before, but it would only make her think about it more.

“Okay.” Hopper leaned against the doorframe, rubbing his head. “How about a story? To get your mind off of it?”

At El’s nod, Hopper nodded and with a “give me a sec”, he left the room. The sound of moving furniture and shuffling feet followed. If El hadn’t been so preoccupied with her memories she might’ve seen what he was doing. A few minutes later he walked in, a book in his hand. Then he gestured towards the bed.

“You want to sit or…?” When she shook her head, Hopper looked at her for a moment. “Okay, suit yourself,” he said before sitting on the edge of the bed. Then he opened the book and started reading.

At first, El kept pacing. Her body was too worked up to stand still. But as the story unfolded, her footsteps slowed. It wasn’t until Hopper glanced up that she realized she had stopped all together. They looked at each other for a moment, then he started reading again.

El found herself stepping forward again and slowly crawling onto the bed. The images of her nightmares had slowed as her brain started constructing images to connect with the story. And as the nightmares dissipated, weariness started pulling at her. Snuggling under the blankets, El forced her eyes to stay open, not wanting to miss the story. Hopper’s voice seemed to grow louder whenever she started drifting off, and she would quickly open her eyes again. But with each minute, it grew harder and harder to do so until she couldn’t force her eyes open again.

Hopper’s voice trailed off and in the last moments of consciousness she felt something rustle her hair.

“Night kiddo.”

A wave of peace washed over El. Nightmares or no nightmares, she was safe.

* * *

 

It had been months since El had a nightmare. The safety of the cabin had seemed to build walls around her, easing her mind and giving her a break from the memories. But that was gone now. New images flashed through her mind along with the old. The tightness in her chest as she squeezed the life out of someone, hunting instead of being hunted. She couldn’t do it, not when he had a family. Dreams, however, had a way of altering reality. El tried to scream as people died at her hand, but it came out as a laugh. She wanted to run, but she couldn’t move.

“Stop!” she finally managed to yell out.

El woke up, covered in sweat. Her body ached. Weariness weighted down her limbs. But her mind was wide awake. Images of the past few days flashing through her mind, reality along with the things she had almost done. It was too much. Tears build up in her eyes and all she wanted was to make it go away.

Forcing her weary limbs to move, El struggled out of her bed and out into the main room. It was still a bit of a mess, from her tantrum and all that had gone on with Will only a few hours earlier. But Hopper was there. He was asleep, no doubt exhausted after all he had been through. That realization made El hesitate for a moment, but the images of her dream and the memories were too much for her right now.

Reaching out she carefully poked Hopper. No reaction. She tried again, a little harder. His eyes snapped open as he sat up quickly, his hand reaching for a gun that wasn’t there. Then he saw El and relaxed a little.

“Hey kid, what’s up?”

“Nightmares.”

Hopper frowned as he got out of bed. “Want me to read to you?”

A small smile grew on El’s face at the other nights when he had read to her, but even as she remembered those good times, she found herself shaking her head.

“You want to talk about it?”

El started shaking her head, but then stopped. She didn’t want to think about it but maybe… “They aren’t just nightmares…” she said quietly.

A moment of silence, then, “They are memories.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement like it happened to him too. “I used to get them…about Sara. Sometimes I still do.”

There was silence again, then Hopper gently pulled her into a hug. “It’s hard. I know. But it will get better. I promise.”

It was hard to believe, but the nightmares had eased with time so…maybe it was true. That didn’t help her right now though, when the fear was still fresh - but Hopper’s comforting presence did. Burying her head in his chest, she let herself relax, squeezing her eyes tighter as images still flashed through her mind.

“It’s alright kid, you’re okay.”

“Still there,” she whispered, wishing she could simply push away the memories, but they wouldn’t flee.

The arms around her tightened. “Sometimes they don’t leave. But you don’t have to face them alone.”

Not alone. She buried her face in Hopper’s chest again, listening as he kept assuring her that it was okay. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than facing it alone. However, her body didn’t quite agree. After closing the gate, she had been more drained than ever before, and she still wasn’t up to par. Her body was taxed.

“Tired.”

“You want to go back to your bed?”

El shook her head. The thought of being alone again scared her, and while she had no doubt Hopper would stay with her, he needed rest too.

“Okay…how about the couch?”

For the first time since the hug started, El pulled back a little to glance at the couch and nodded. It would allow her to be close to Hopper, which was about the only think keeping her sane right now.

A few minutes later, El was curled up on the couch, her head resting on a pillow situated on Hopper’s lap and a blanket tucked around her. Hopper’s arm was resting on her back, a reminder that she was safe. At her insistence, he had pulled a chair close to the couch so he could prop up his legs and hopefully get some rest too.

“You good?” Hopper asked.

El looked at the wall of the cabin for a moment, then she brought her hand out from under the blanket and grabbed Hopper’s hand. “Good,” she said quietly. Maybe good was a bit of an overstatement, but it wasn’t bad. She wasn’t alone, and with time this would pass. Closing her eyes, she made herself focus on the cabin around her – the sound of the heaters keeping the cabin warm, the feel of the blanket on her feet, Hopper’s quiet humming as he stroked her hand – and as she did so, sleep slowly found her. Once again, the cabin felt safe.


End file.
